ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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