I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
