Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
