all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
