i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
don't judge my taste in strippers
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
