Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
