She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
