is your mom at the bar?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
