; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
