I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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