Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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