Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
