as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
