We're like a lot better than the average bears
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dicks are not precious.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
