I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
