she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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