shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This gyro tastes like lonliness
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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