I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
