just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
