Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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