Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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