You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
