I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
