I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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