Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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