I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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