if i can run in heels then i can drive
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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