Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize