We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
