Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
