My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
