so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
