he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
