brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
