my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
