All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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