My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
