He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
