I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
