Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
