I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
