god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
