At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
