mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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