WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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