i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
