I wish I only lived at night.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Randomize
