I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
