Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
