what day is it and did you see me today?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
