Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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