You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
