guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize