margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
