I forgot how hot balto sounded
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
