Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize