By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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