the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
