OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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