do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
