I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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