..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
