We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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