I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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