I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
