i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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