you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
